While changing Madison's first diaper yesterday morning, I noticed this:
I actually have only clipped them two times since she was born. [Spoiler alert]And if that makes you want to call CPS, just wait until you finish this post. I might call on myself!!
After seeing that scratch, I decided I couldn't put it off any longer. I got out the nail clippers, perched her under the ceiling fan in our bedroom, and got to work. I decided to start with her thumb because that was the longest, snarliest-looking one. Plus I was pretty sure that was the perp from the night before. I lined up the clippers, pushed back the skin under the nail to make sure I didn't hurt her, and then clipped.
A second passed.
Then another one.
And then....BAM! She felt it. What is "it", you might ask? Well, "it" was the pain caused by the sliver of sweet little baby flesh that her mommy dearest chopped off!
The first thing that popped into my head when I realized what I had done was what the baby book told me NOT to do in this situation, which is to suck on the finger. So of course that was the first thing I tried. Her screams stopped for about half of a second. Oh, did I forget to mention she was screaming? Because she was. You know that dangly thing in the back of your throat? I know hers pretty well now, because that's about all I saw of her for the next forty-five minutes.
I tried the ceiling fan. I tried holding her. I tried singing. I tried dancing. I tried giving her her monkey. I tried holding her with her monkey where she could see the ceiling fan while singing and dancing.
I called Nana. NO ANSWER! I tried rocking her. I tried darkness. I tried silence. I tried holding a popsicle(still in the package) against her finger. WHOA that was a bad idea...she got louder. I didn't think it was possible, but she got louder.
At this point, every once in a while she would open her eyes and glare at me in the microseconds between sobs. And the worst part was that I knew I deserved it!!
I thought about trying to feed her even though she had eaten thirty minutes before the ordeal started, but I knew I couldn't handle the rejection if that failed. So I tried putting her in her swing. It worked like a charm. The kind of charm that broke my heart because it meant my baby just wanted to be away from me!
She fell asleep almost instantly in her swing. When I woke her up to eat an hour later, she seemed normal. I even got a miniscule smirk while trying to burp her. I'm pretty sure she'll make a full recovery. My recovery is still a little uncertain.
Oh, and in case you need evidence for CPS, I've included pics of the bloodshed. This is the blood from Madison's first time to bleed that was not caused by a medical professional:
I used the first sterile thing I could think of, an adult sized band-aid (tee-hee, does that phrasing have anyone else picturing a band-aid the size of an adult?) to wipe her wound. I saved the band-aid so I could take a pic with of it with her for scale once she calmed down. I hope it is the last time that Madison bleeds because of her mommy. Or at all. Does anybody know where they sell those giant bubbles a la Bubble Boy? Or at least breathable bubble wrap?
If anyone would like to volunteer to be Madison's official nail technician for the next eighteen years, please let me know. That failing, I'd appreciate some tips for preventing an encore presentation. What worked (or didn't work) for you guys?