More Shameless Bragging

I promise this is my last time to brag on my husband this week, and I know you probably don't want to hear it, but I couldn't resist.  After you read what happened last night, I'm sure you'll understand.  Either that, or you'll question my palate.  Maybe both.

Last night, I opened the freezer to answer that eternal question: "What's for dinner?"  I knew that we were most likely out of chicken nuggets, aka my favorite meal, so I had pretty much come to terms with not having that.  But when I looked inside and saw a glorious bag promising Great Value chicken nuggets, I giddily turned to Patrick and exclaimed, "When did you get nuggets?"  His face fell immediately, tipping me off to the ugly truth.  The bag held only three nuggets, which, though by some would be considered a snack, I recognized as a mere tease.  Without any further discussion, he said, "I'll be back."  Before leaving, he did check to see if we had mac and cheese, because everyone knows that nuggets without mac and cheese are just shredded and fried chicken parts.  We didn't, so he planned to get both while he was out.

Upon his return, he grinned at me and said, "I bring chicken."  Strangely enough, he then said, "Oh, no."  Whether by ESPN or just good deductive skills, I instantly knew that he had forgotten the macaroni with all its elevating properties.  Here's the part where he gets bonus points: he again said, "I'll be back" and left to retrieve the noodles.  That's a good man.

Has your husband ever (without prompting) made two special trips to the store to make sure you have your favorite meal?  Do you feel the same as I do about nuggets without mac and cheese?  Did the phrase "fried chicken parts" turn you off to chicken nuggets forever for the next eight hours?  I know it did for me.  : )

-Kelli

We Can Only Go Up From Here.

You know how they say things have to get worse before they get better?  Well, I found an exception.  It ("It" being the floors) really doesn't get any worse than this.

That's why I was sooooo excited to get started ripping them out on Saturday.  Normally, we could have laid the new floors right over them, but there were two reasons we couldn't do that here.  First, patches of the floor were missing, so we didn't have a level surface.  Second, we knew that some of the sub-floor needed to be replaced(because it felt soft underfoot), and we wanted to inspect all of it.

While Pat took Madison on a grocery run like the Super-Dad he is, I got started by ripping out the quarter-round trim around the cabinet bases. 

Then I found a good starting point for peeling the linoleum and got crack-a-lacking.  Or whatever you call it.  For your viewing pleasure, I've included all three layers of linoleum.

Layer 1:

 Layer 2:

 Layer 3:

 Layer three is so damaged in the above picture that you really can't tell what it looked like. Here it is in another location.

Once I ripped up all three layers of linoleum, I was left with this (treated? adhesive covered?  blackened for no apparent reason?) wood.

 It came up in decent sized chunks, which I hauled out the back door for later disposal.  Actually, we'll just be sneaking bits of it into our regular trash pickup.  It will probably be gone by March 2013.  

 The Pampers box was especially useful for the tiny scraps that peeled off along the way.  I hate construction (demolition?) mess.

An hour later, I had removed all but the most stubborn bits of backing.

 As I mentioned before, we expected to have to replace a good portion of the sub-floors.  Thankfully, there wasn't as much damage as we expected.  We marked the places that needed to be replaced, measured, and then Pat headed off to Home Depot to buy the lumber, plus a few other materials we knew we would need more of. 

 Once Pat got back home, he cut out the bad patches and ripped out that top layer.

 Once we cleaned up that mess, we were left with this.

 Pat caulked the edges to prepare for the next step: leveler. 

 Here's the floor all prepped for the leveler.  Or so we thought. 

 It turns out you have to use primer to prep the surface to accept the leveler.  And the primer has to dry overnight.  Meaning we couldn't apply the leveler until Sunday after church.  Meaning we wouldn't get to install the tiles that weekend.  Meaning we wouldn't have a working stove until at least the following Sunday.  After we absorbed that discouraging news, we read the instructions for the primer and got to rolling.

 We set up the fan to blow out the minimal fumes.  It was very cold that night, so we worked as quickly as we could.

 Thirteen hours after I started on the floors, we were done for the night.  Sunday after church, Patrick started on the leveler while I played with Madison/annoyed him by making him pretend to work while I got pictures.

 The leveler was about the consistency of runny pancake batter.  I would have been really nervous to do this step, but Patrick's pretty experienced with concrete-y type things. 

 The leveler spread into all the low places (of which there were many), creating a perfectly level surface.

 Madison supervised.

Once it was done, Patrick finally took a break,

during which he inadvertently let Bella out of the bathroom.  

 Since, as I mentioned, we are stoveless, we picked up some Little Caesar's.  And it was good.

 This is how the floors look for now.  Come quickly, Saturday!

 I can honestly say I think even this is an improvement over the before.  It doesn't look like leprosy, so that's a plus in my book.  Why, why, why, did we let that floor stay for so long?

Oh yeah, we're okay in the food department.  I went over to my mom's yesterday and baked a party-sized lasagna (healthy, no?) and made some beans and rice.  We'll be able to eat out of the microwave until Saturday.  Don't tell anyone, but I also brought the remainder of the banana pudding back from my mom's.  You know, for my potassium deficiency.  Health is first in the Philpot household!  I wonder what deficiency sweet potato pie would help me with...

What were you up to over the weekend?  Has Thanksgiving wrecked your diet(not that I'm on a "diet"), too?

-Kelli

Double, Double, Toil and Trouble...

 ...fire burn and crock pot bubble.  Or something like that.

That's right, we've officially joined in with the rest of America's households and jumped on the gravy crock pot train.  Actually, we were recruited by none other than my lovely mother.  Thanks, Mom!

 Yes, my mom showed up on my doorstep Monday afternoon holding this huge, beautiful, heavy-ish crock pot.  And I did what any considerate host would do: I made her wait outside until I could locate my camera (it was still plugged in to our computer).  Five minutes later, once she was inside, she also presented me with a recipe for said crock pot, along with all the ingredients for that recipe (except for the salt, pepper, and sugar... we had those on hand):

 The recipe called for red or pinto beans, a ham hock, frozen seasoning blend, a bay leaf, garlic powder, brown gravy mix, sausage(optional), salt, pepper, and sugar.  I would share quantities with you, but I'm afraid that would just encourage you to try this yourself, which you should not do.  Again, do not try this at home.  But I digress.

I placed all the ingredients in the cauldron pot, then covered them to 3/4 full with boiling water.  After receiving (mild) burns on my forearms from the ensuing splash (looking back, I see that I should have listened to the part of the instructions that said "carefully cover the ingredients with boiling water"; you know what they say about hindsight), I turned the crock pot on low and waited about six and a half hours.

All the ingredients.  Aren't they pretty?  I was pretty excited about the meal at this point.

Or at least that was the plan.  In actuality, I waited until the smell of burning plastic filled my kitchen, which was about forty-five minutes into the process.  I hurried to turn it off, remove the pot, and check for any packaging that I may have left in the works.  No dice.  I finally resorted to reading the manual, which warned me about a "chemical smell" during the first few uses.  So I put the pot back in the burner, or whatever you call that new fangled contraption, and turned it back on for another six hours.

Six hours later, I found out remembered that Patrick had a church committee meeting that night.  I figured we could eat when he got back home, and turned the crock pot to the "warm" setting.  It turned out that this meeting, which usually only takes about forty minutes, was our church's annual budget meeting.  So he was gone for a couple of hours, and they fed him there.  Since I wasn't really hungry anyway, I just let the beans cool, and then stuck them in the fridge.  That's where they are right now.

Confession: I actually tasted the beans before I put them in the fridge.  They were...okay, I guess.  I mean, if I had been hungry, I probably would have eaten them.  The main problem was the sausage.  It was completely flavorless.  It tasted like water, which shouldn't have been a big surprise, since that's what it cooked in for 6 1/2 hours.  For some reason, neither of us are willing to give them a shot.  I plan to dump it in the backyard behind the bird pile, next to the congealed remains of my first bean fail.  Just kidding, sort of.  The first bean fail happily (for us, anyway, it probably wasn't such a happy occurrence for the beans) disintegrated a month or so ago.

My mom had gotten the same ingredients for herself, and came to the same conclusion; she's already disposed of hers.  Thankfully, she admitted to not liking them before I had to bring it up.  Because that would have been awkward as heck: "Um, hey Mom, thanks for the crock pot and the food."  "You're welcome, Kelli!  I'm so glad you enjoyed it!"  "Oh no, we didn't enjoy it.  It's rotting in the back yard behind the burn pile.  We were hoping the birds would eat it, but they seem to prefer slow death by starvation.  But thanks, anyway!"

Mom, if you are reading, I am sincerely grateful for the crock pot and the groceries.  I promise to share any and all decent crock pot recipes that I find with you.

That's where you guys come in.  What are your favorite crock pot meals? And what meals are returning to Mother Earth in your backyard?  What was your favorite "just because" gift of all time? 

-Kelli

Ready for a Good Laugh?

I hope you are, because I decided to share with you guys how I'm doing with my goals.  And it ain't pretty. 

Goals for 6.22.12 (Madison's first birthday)
-Have 15 meals that work for our family- We're at five.  That's two more than we had last month.  Last month we had ten months to add twelve meals.  We added two in a month, so we're ahead of schedule!!  Yay for me.
-Throw a birthday party for Madison at our house without crying the night before because I'm mortified for anyone to see the house as-is and feel proud to show what we have done with it.- In the last month, I've added a side table to Madi's room, finished painting the dining room table, hung some art on Madi's wall, and torn our bathroom and our front door trim (more on that later) apart.  At this rate, I'll never have it done in time.  It's time to get my bottom (I'm trying to make this word part of my vocabulary; I'm not a fan of Madison saying "butt" anytime soon) in gear!
-Get dressed every day(you just think I'm exaggerating)- Moving on...
-Look in the mirror EVERY time I leave the house and/or have company. (I figure if I'm gonna submit everyone else to the view, I ought to at least get a taste myself)- This one made me laugh out loud.  Here's a shot of the only mirror in our house.  It has been here for two weeks.  I could pass myself on the street and never know it.  You know, if I could be in two places at once.

Sad side note: this picture was taken two weeks ago.  Half of that laundry is still on the bed.  The other half only moved off of the bed because we used it!

 -Bake Madison's birthday (cup)cake(s)- No progress.  I should probably at least learn how to turn on the oven soon...
-DIY something fun to give friends & fam for Christmas...Being cheap shouldn't equal being a scrooge!- We actually are kind of excited about this one, but since friends & family (are the only ones who) read this mamma-jamma, I can't share anything with you until after the fact.  Sorry!
-Find a way to serve God while being a good wife and mother.  Whoa, I don't know if I've ever called myself a "mother" before.  Crazy! - My plan of attack on this one was to work on the "while being a good wife and mother" before adding in the serving God part.  Lately I've been thinking I should rethink my strategy; I'll probably fail at being a good wife and mother anytime I put that ahead of God's will for me.  Hmmm.
-Be a good friend.  Answer the phone.  Maybe even initiate conversations, sometimes!  Listen.  Help.- Ouch.  Some of you know how badly I'm doing with this one.  You know who you are.  Thank you for putting up with me! 
-To live by Philippians 4:8-"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things."- I think I've done pretty well on this, only because Madison is #1 on my mind most of the time.  And she is pure, lovely, and excellent, if I do say so myself.  She also most definitely makes me think about how worthy of praise our God is.

Tell me what you think!  Are you working on any goals right now?  Have you ever gone two weeks without looking at yourself in a mirror (other than the one on the car visor)?  Do you feel like giving me some baking lessons?  For free?  Does your folded laundry ever hang out for weeks just because you hate that final step of putting it where it belongs?  What words (other than the ones that require asterisks to spell) are off limits for your kids?

-Kelli

Eeeeh, Macaroni!

A-hai!

For those of you shaking your heads in disbelief at the level to which I'll stoop for a title, well, sorry.  And for those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, click here.  Just don't do it while your daughter's watching.  I'd hate for her to think that boy-shorts actually qualify as clothing.

Back to the topic at hand, I thought I would share one of my all-time favorite meals with you: nuggets and macaroni!!!  Yes, I do realize that I was supposed to stop wanting to eat this when I turned thirteen.  I guess I'm a late bloomer.

Instead of insulting your intelligence and telling you how we make this, I'll just tell you our favorite brands.  The directions on the box/bag should suffice.  Update: after counting the calories in this meal, I realized that no one should eat this, ever.  For any reason.  Do so at your own risk.

Great Value Nuggets
Great Value Mac & Cheese
Great Value Ketchup (are you sensing a trend here?)
Mary B's Southern Style Frozen Biscuits (although Pat accidentally got Mary B's Buttermilk Biscuits last time, and they're good too; think Cracker Barrel)

Total cost per meal (for Pat & me together): $2.50
Calories per serving: 960! Ouch, I didn't know that until I added it up for this post. No wonder it tastes so good!
Tastiness factor: 8/10
Health factor: 2/10 - And that's only because I couldn't bear to give it a one, which it probably deserves.  But there's more to life than being healthy.  Right?

To see all our meals and compare cost, calories, tastiness, and health, click here!

Please tell me we aren't the only ones who eat this badly (on occasion).  Do you have any meals that compare?  Do you know three (or more) different dance styles to the Macarena?  My personal fave was always "country".  When you read "Cracker Barrel" did you immediately crave biscuits, grape jelly, and Dr. Pepper?

-Kelli

The Power of Parkay

Every (week)day, Pat and I eat the same thing for lunch.  Well, he's pretty picky, so his version is plain and dry.  But I'm getting ahead of myself.  Let's start over.

Every day, Pat and I eat turkey sandwiches for lunch.  My version has bread, turkey, provolone, and ranch.  His version has bread and turkey.  Isn't that exciting?!  Yeah, we don't really think so, either; however, cheap is as cheap does, and we are, if nothing else, cheap.

Needless to say, neither of us spends any time looking forward to lunch.  We just kind of eat it so we're not hungry anymore.  But get this: when we add one magic ingredient (okay, two magic ingredients, three if you count water) it becomes a pretty stinking good meal.  One of our favorites, actually.  Can you guess what it is?

 Yup!  It's spray butter buttery tasting liquid.  Yes, I'm sure it causes cancer, they test it on animals, and it single-handedly caused global warming.  It may or may not have been behind the levees breaking during Katrina.  But it tastes GOOD, it has zero calories, and I don't have to spread anything.  So we use it.  I just soak spray both sides of the bread and throw it in the frying pan to get a little toasty:

 Then I layer on 8 slices of turkey, a slice of provolone, and a generous amount of ranch, and stick it in the oven at 350ish until the cheese is melty (a very technical term, meaning not quite melted but much softer and warmer than its original cold and brittle state) and the bread is crispy-ish.

Before going in the oven.  Note: Aluminum Foil may also cause global warming, in addition to hating puppies.  But you also don't have to scrape the pan afterwards.  It's your choice.

 While the sandwiches are baking, I heat up some tomato soup(this is where the water comes in):

Dirty stove.  Judge not, lest you be judged.  Oh, and it's not quite as dirty as it looks; some of that is the paint scraping off.  Yes, I said paint. 

 Take out the sandwiches, cut into pretty wedges, and enjoy!

It tastes really, really good when you dip it.  But it's messy, so watch out for your white pants!

Here's the breakdown:
Cost per meal: $3.66
Calories per serving: 500(we each have 1 1/2 sandwiches)
Tastiness factor: 7/10-keep in mind here that I'm judging like they do in gymnastics, leaving room for a better than perfect dish.
Health factor: 6/10 (tons of sodium, but we use turkey breast, whole wheat bread, and we've gotta get some credit for the word "tomato", right?)

What do you think?  Do you use aluminum foil in lieu of elbow grease?  Do you risk spray butter?  Are you cheap enough to eat the same thing EVERY day?  Tell me it's not just us!

*Update: go check out the new page, Our Menu!  That's where I'll compile all our meal info.  Thanks!

-Kelli

Bean Fail

Okay, so as I mentioned last week, one of my goals is to have fifteen meals under my belt (sometimes literally, heh-heh) that work for our family.

Well, last week I decided to try my first menu addition...red beans and rice.  I found a recipe here and decided to give it a go.

Here's a shot of my ingredients list:

Do you see the marked through ingredients?  That means I didn't have them on hand.  So what did I do?  I just left them out!  Except, that is, for the celery seed.  I used caraway seed instead, since it also starts with a "c" and uses the word seed.  And yes, that was my actual logic behind the decision.  Feel free to mock me mercilessly in your comments; I won't even delete them, because I deserve it!  Well, also because I love having comments of any kind.

1) So I soaked the beans overnight:

2) Then I rinsed them and covered them with water in a large pot.

3) And then added the spices and turned on the heat:

3) JK, I actually turned on the burner.

4) Then I went to check my FB notifications because I had posted my weekly pics of Madison and I thrive on people's "likes" and comments.  They make me happy.  Thirty minutes later, I heard Pat arrive.  And I promptly swore.  Okay, I just said "cr@p", but by some people's standards that's a naughty word.  And why did I (semi)curse?  Because I was supposed to get the beans to a boil and then immediately turn them down to a simmer.  Instead, I brought them to a boil and then forgot about them, resulting in this:

In spite of my epic fail, the beans did smell pretty good.  Good enough that Pat was willing to try out a crunchy bean:

50 Points if you spot me!

He approved, so we decided I'd try again the next day.  I repeated steps one through three, and in place of the fourth step I actually stayed in the kitchen and turned the burner down this time:

So I served it over a bed of rice (doesn't that sound fancy?) and enjoyed our new, cheap, healthy dinner.

Here's the breakdown:
Cost per meal: $1(and that includes leftovers for lunch the next day!)
Calories per serving: 350
Tastiness factor: 4/10
Health factor: 8/10

We'd love to hear your comments.  Have you burned beans recently?  Do you obsess over checking out people's "likes" and comments on FB as much as I do?  Have you made shamelessly corny jokes about heaters or other household equipment on your blogs?

-Kelli