Monday, October 8, 2012

What's On My Mind Monday

Linking up over here.  Fair warning: this one's kind of heavy, so feel free to skip this post if you're not ready for all that jazz.  If you don't already know what's going on with our family, Patrick's dad Bill was placed in hospice care on Friday.  Thanks for your prayers.

I.  Thankfulness.  I'm so thankful to have married into a family so full of love.  This weekend was one of the most difficult times Pat and I have ever been through, but it was made so much more bearable by the way everyone held each other up.  Sometimes literally.  For the worst reason in the world, we've all been seeing a lot of each other this past few days.  The way these (grown) kids have come together says a lot about the people who raised them. 

II.  Fear.  Pat and I have never lost anyone this close before.  We don't really know how to do it.  I think we were mostly in the denial phase until pretty late last night.  Now our grief is kind of like the tide.  I love Bill, and I am definitely struggling to deal with what he's going through, but the hardest part for me is seeing Patrick hurting and not being able to do anything to help him.

III.  Gratitude.  I don't ask for help lightly.  Usually, I would say I don't ask for help EVER, but in the last three weeks I've had to ask my mom for emergency babysitting four (or is it five?  I'm losing count.) times.  By emergency, I mean less than twelve hours notice.  Sometimes even less than an hour's notice.  Just this weekend, she kept Madison all day Saturday, then also Sunday evening including bed time.  And there's probably more of that in our very near future.

IV.  Surprise.  I know you're supposed to put your spouse before your child/children (no I'm not pregnant, hence the Monster), but I kind of figured that I had messed that up.  I really thought that Madison was first in my mind until last night.  Since she was a newborn, I've never missed bedtime.  Not even once.  So last night, when I brought her to my mom's so I could be with Pat while he was with his dad, I figured I'd spend all evening worrying about bedtime.  To the contrary, I didn't think about it at all until we were on our way home, hours after Madison went down.  And I feel zero guilt about that, only thankfulness that I was able to be with Patrick. 

V.  Distraction.  God has blessed us with a few things that distract us for a while from everything going on with Bill.  For starters, Patrick got a promotion at work that comes with an exciting raise.  His boss, whom I've never met but pretty much love, pulled him aside just before he left and said that he wanted to give him something nice to think about.  Then he told him the job's a done deal and his new pay rate.  After they fill Patrick's current position, possibly as soon as a month from now, he will be a specialty gas analyst/blender/chemist.  The title changes depending on who you talk to.  Whatever he'll be called, he's excited to get back into the production side of the business, even though he enjoyed his desk job (for the less than six months he had it) and was kind of okay with driving.  This little girl has also been a pretty wonderful distraction:

Sorry it's sideways.  No time to fix it!
VI.  Friends.  We've got some great ones.  This is all from a friend who lost his mom and knows what Patrick's going through:
Again, sorry it's sideways.

Have a happy Monday!


  1. Kelli, my heart breaks for you and Patrick. Please never hesitate to call me if you need someone to hang with Madi... I absolutely love that she digs me so it is a great boost to my ego when I am able to watch her.. And ofcourse anything else we can do to help your sweet family.

    1. Thanks, Angie. I'm glad it's a boost to your ego, because it's a boost to my soul to be able to finally sit through Sunday School!

  2. Kelli, you know we love you both. I cannot imagine the emotions that are flowing through both of you, but I am thankful that the Lord is carrying you through and growing you closer as a couple. Let us know if we can do anything to help and I hope you let Madi have some of her "junk food" too. Goldfish aren't too bad, right? :)

    1. Thanks, Michelle. We're so grateful for you and Jeff. Don't worry about Madison getting junk food. Remember the part where she's been spending lots of time with Nana? Pizza was dinner last night...she had two whole slices of thin crust pepperoni.

  3. And my Madi enjoyed every bite of the pizza!

  4. So sorry this is a rough time but she is CUTE!

  5. Kelli - I love your heart! As rough as this time is, you have it together and bring such a loving and gentle strength to the situation. Thanks for being there for Patrick. I know it means more to him than you can imagine. Your little girl will be well taken care of during these brief absences. I'm just so sorry she will not get to have her grandfather to grow up with. You are well aware that God gives strength and grace when we need it, so keep relying on that promise. We are praying, but will be glad to do whatever else we can if you let us know. Love you! Aunt Gloria