I. Thankfulness. I'm so thankful to have married into a family so full of love. This weekend was one of the most difficult times Pat and I have ever been through, but it was made so much more bearable by the way everyone held each other up. Sometimes literally. For the worst reason in the world, we've all been seeing a lot of each other this past few days. The way these (grown) kids have come together says a lot about the people who raised them.
II. Fear. Pat and I have never lost anyone this close before. We don't really know how to do it. I think we were mostly in the denial phase until pretty late last night. Now our grief is kind of like the tide. I love Bill, and I am definitely struggling to deal with what he's going through, but the hardest part for me is seeing Patrick hurting and not being able to do anything to help him.
III. Gratitude. I don't ask for help lightly. Usually, I would say I don't ask for help EVER, but in the last three weeks I've had to ask my mom for emergency babysitting four (or is it five? I'm losing count.) times. By emergency, I mean less than twelve hours notice. Sometimes even less than an hour's notice. Just this weekend, she kept Madison all day Saturday, then also Sunday evening including bed time. And there's probably more of that in our very near future.
IV. Surprise. I know you're supposed to put your spouse before your child/children (no I'm not pregnant, hence the Monster), but I kind of figured that I had messed that up. I really thought that Madison was first in my mind until last night. Since she was a newborn, I've never missed bedtime. Not even once. So last night, when I brought her to my mom's so I could be with Pat while he was with his dad, I figured I'd spend all evening worrying about bedtime. To the contrary, I didn't think about it at all until we were on our way home, hours after Madison went down. And I feel zero guilt about that, only thankfulness that I was able to be with Patrick.
V. Distraction. God has blessed us with a few things that distract us for a while from everything going on with Bill. For starters, Patrick got a promotion at work that comes with an exciting raise. His boss, whom I've never met but pretty much love, pulled him aside just before he left and said that he wanted to give him something nice to think about. Then he told him the job's a done deal and his new pay rate. After they fill Patrick's current position, possibly as soon as a month from now, he will be a specialty gas analyst/blender/chemist. The title changes depending on who you talk to. Whatever he'll be called, he's excited to get back into the production side of the business, even though he enjoyed his desk job (for the less than six months he had it) and was kind of okay with driving. This little girl has also been a pretty wonderful distraction:
|Sorry it's sideways. No time to fix it!|
|Again, sorry it's sideways.|
Have a happy Monday!