Double, Double, Toil and Trouble...

 ...fire burn and crock pot bubble.  Or something like that.

That's right, we've officially joined in with the rest of America's households and jumped on the gravy crock pot train.  Actually, we were recruited by none other than my lovely mother.  Thanks, Mom!

 Yes, my mom showed up on my doorstep Monday afternoon holding this huge, beautiful, heavy-ish crock pot.  And I did what any considerate host would do: I made her wait outside until I could locate my camera (it was still plugged in to our computer).  Five minutes later, once she was inside, she also presented me with a recipe for said crock pot, along with all the ingredients for that recipe (except for the salt, pepper, and sugar... we had those on hand):

 The recipe called for red or pinto beans, a ham hock, frozen seasoning blend, a bay leaf, garlic powder, brown gravy mix, sausage(optional), salt, pepper, and sugar.  I would share quantities with you, but I'm afraid that would just encourage you to try this yourself, which you should not do.  Again, do not try this at home.  But I digress.

I placed all the ingredients in the cauldron pot, then covered them to 3/4 full with boiling water.  After receiving (mild) burns on my forearms from the ensuing splash (looking back, I see that I should have listened to the part of the instructions that said "carefully cover the ingredients with boiling water"; you know what they say about hindsight), I turned the crock pot on low and waited about six and a half hours.

All the ingredients.  Aren't they pretty?  I was pretty excited about the meal at this point.

Or at least that was the plan.  In actuality, I waited until the smell of burning plastic filled my kitchen, which was about forty-five minutes into the process.  I hurried to turn it off, remove the pot, and check for any packaging that I may have left in the works.  No dice.  I finally resorted to reading the manual, which warned me about a "chemical smell" during the first few uses.  So I put the pot back in the burner, or whatever you call that new fangled contraption, and turned it back on for another six hours.

Six hours later, I found out remembered that Patrick had a church committee meeting that night.  I figured we could eat when he got back home, and turned the crock pot to the "warm" setting.  It turned out that this meeting, which usually only takes about forty minutes, was our church's annual budget meeting.  So he was gone for a couple of hours, and they fed him there.  Since I wasn't really hungry anyway, I just let the beans cool, and then stuck them in the fridge.  That's where they are right now.

Confession: I actually tasted the beans before I put them in the fridge.  They were...okay, I guess.  I mean, if I had been hungry, I probably would have eaten them.  The main problem was the sausage.  It was completely flavorless.  It tasted like water, which shouldn't have been a big surprise, since that's what it cooked in for 6 1/2 hours.  For some reason, neither of us are willing to give them a shot.  I plan to dump it in the backyard behind the bird pile, next to the congealed remains of my first bean fail.  Just kidding, sort of.  The first bean fail happily (for us, anyway, it probably wasn't such a happy occurrence for the beans) disintegrated a month or so ago.

My mom had gotten the same ingredients for herself, and came to the same conclusion; she's already disposed of hers.  Thankfully, she admitted to not liking them before I had to bring it up.  Because that would have been awkward as heck: "Um, hey Mom, thanks for the crock pot and the food."  "You're welcome, Kelli!  I'm so glad you enjoyed it!"  "Oh no, we didn't enjoy it.  It's rotting in the back yard behind the burn pile.  We were hoping the birds would eat it, but they seem to prefer slow death by starvation.  But thanks, anyway!"

Mom, if you are reading, I am sincerely grateful for the crock pot and the groceries.  I promise to share any and all decent crock pot recipes that I find with you.

That's where you guys come in.  What are your favorite crock pot meals? And what meals are returning to Mother Earth in your backyard?  What was your favorite "just because" gift of all time? 

-Kelli

A Day in the Life.

Almost every day, when Pat gets home, he asks me what I did that day.  Almost every day, I respond, "I have no idea where my day went."  That's why I decided to track my day yesterday, to write everything down and see where the time went.  Although no two days are the same for me, yesterday was pretty typical.  Note: this post is more an exercise in validating my time (to myself) than an attempt at amusing an audience.  If there is any entertainment value, it is purely accidental.  If you feel like five minutes of your life was wasted after reading it, well, don't say I didn't warn you.  That being said, let's get started.

7:13- Madison starts to stir, which wakes me.  I'm pretty beat from a comparatively rough night with her.  She usually wakes up only once to nurse during her twelve hours of nighttime sleep.  This time she woke up twice, and the second time I stupidly let her talk to her mobile for an hour, hoping she would go back to sleep on her own, before I "binkied" her. 
7:15- After deciding she's probably up for the day, I head to the kitchen to eat my breakfast (Raisin Bran).  She chatters happily to her mobile the whole time.
7:45- I realize she has been quiet for a few minutes.  I go to check on her, and wake her up in the process.  After some more cooing and a diaper change, we head to the couch and she gets some breakfast.  I decide that it's a good morning for a jog.
8:30- Finally, both of us are dressed, I've stretched, and we're ready to hit the ground running jogging.  We make it about a mile before I feel like I'm going to die.  That stroller is a beast to push around!  It's like running with a parachute.
 

You can tell it's before the jog, because my face isn't the shade of a stop sign.

9:00- After cooling down and visiting Nana (who lives just down the street) for a few minutes, we're back home.  I put Madison on our bed to watch the ceiling fan while I stretch.
9:15- Madison goes down for her first nap.  I do some crunches, getting dog hair all over my back in the process (eww), then read some YHL.
9:40- Now that I've stopped sweating, I take a shower.
10:05- I hear Madison waking up.  I make a to do list for the day while I listen to her sweet voice on the monitor.

The most pressing two things on the list were the cookies and the fifteen weeks pictures.  The cookies were for a bake sale to benefit a little girl in our church.  You can read all about it on their blog!  And if you can't make it down to the bake sale, you can donate using the link on their blog.  Every little bit helps!
 10:15- Madison has second breakfast.  I love my little halfling.  Afterwards, it's another diaper change and then playtime.  For the first fifteen minutes of her playtime, I let her play alone.  She's good at entertaining herself, for which I am very grateful.  While she plays behind me, I locate my cookie recipe and search for a frosting recipe.
10:40- I play with Madison.  We read a couple of books, talk to each other, smile at the dog, and touch our eyes, nose, mouth, and cheeks.

11:00- I check to see if she can still roll over.  For some reason, I'm convinced she'll forget how.  She rolls to her back without a problem, but she's not very happy about it.  We read her favorite book, which calms her down again.
11:15- I start her bath.

I took one without the washcloths, but we try to keep it PG around here.

For some reason, to me it looks like she's break-dancing.

Curly hair!

After I brushed it.  It still dries curly, though!

11:35- I put her in her swing for a nap.  I clean up her bath mess, then go turn on the washing machine, where a load of her clothes have been hanging out since yesterday.  Oops!  So much for conserving water.  I start to clean the kitchen.  Here it is before:

 11:50- I realize I should have put the butter out to soften for the cookies, like, thirty minutes ago.  To speed up the process, I slice the butter thinly into a mixing bowl and stick it in a beam of sunlight.  At this point, Madison is sound asleep.
11:55- I finish cleaning the kitchen and start making cookies.  Since the butter hasn't gotten soft yet, I start with the flour mixture.

Semi-clean kitchen. 

12:06- The flour mixture is ready, I've gathered all my ingredients, and the butter is still hard.  I decide to treat the butter to a "hot water bath".  Since my mixing bowl is steel and conducts heat pretty nicely, I just run hot water over the outside of the bowl while stirring the butter.  This seems to do the trick, so I start creaming the butter and sugar.
12:13- Maybe I jumped the gun on this thing.  I've been beating this butter for seven minutes, I have a massive headache, and it's still not as fluffy as it was last time.  Maybe butter acts differently than margarine?  I give up and start adding the flour mixture.
12:25- Madison is awake but happy in her swing, and the dough is in the fridge.  I make a sandwich and enjoy my lunch.

The book is my favorite part of lunch, but the ranch on my sandwich isn't half bad, either!

 12:35- Madison is asleep again, so I treat myself to dessert.

 12:43- I'm done with lunch and Madi's still sleeping, so I put her clothes in the dryer.  Twenty-six cents the richer, I bring yesterday's laundry in from the dryer.  I clean the kitchen (for the second time today, if you're counting) and set out headache medicine to take after the next time I nurse her.  I clean the living room, bathroom, and bedroom.  I add 10 more wire hangers to our growing collection in the garage; Pat's work offers laundry service, which means we are blessed with 5 hangers a week.  At this rate, we won't be able to walk into the garage by 2012.  Maybe that's what the ancient Mayans were trying to prepare us for.
1:08- I start cleaning the office  get intimidated by the prospect of cleaning the office alone and start working on the nursery.
1:15- Now that the nursery is clean, I decide I've earned a quick break.  Besides, my head still hurts really badly.  I read Matthew 17 & 18.  Pretty good stuff, but I guess so is any other passage I've read lately.
1:30- I turn off her swing.  She's still asleep, but it's been more than three hours since she ate, and I know she'll be grumpy when she wakes up if I let her sleep much longer.  That does the trick.  She wakes up for some lunch, and then we take her weekly pictures.  Can you believe she's fifteen weeks old?!

I couldn't resist picking a shot of her holding her foot, even though she didn't smile in any of those.  But I had to show off her new trick, right?

For some reason, the best shots of her are always the ones where I have the framing all off.  Boo.

2:10- Now that I've taken about thirty pictures, I figure I probably got at least one decent shot.  I put her on our bed to watch the ceiling fan while I take my headache medicine.  We do some folding together.

 2:39- She rolls over one time, then starts acting really sleepy.  I put her down for her third nap of the day.
2:42- I give her "Mr. Binks" then go to roll the cookies.
2:55- Mom comes over.  The first batch of cookies goes in the oven.
3:13- Mom is gone (come on, do you really think she was here to see me)?  Second batch of cookies goes in the oven.
3:23- I text Michelle to see if I should make plain cookies, or cookie sandwiches.
3:24- Get Madison's clothes out of the dryer.
3:27- I receive a reply from Michelle.  She says "whatever is easier".  So not helpful!!!  I eat a cookie, my feelings, and a glass of milk.
3:34- Madison starts to wake up

I wish this was how I felt every time I woke up! 

3:45- I feed Madison.
4:12- While Madison plays, I upload and post pictures to Facebook, then call the insurance company and the hospital's business office.  Once I hang up with the business office, having accomplished a big fat nothing thanks to the lack of customer service, Madison and I play some more.  She spends most of the next hour sitting up (with assistance) and watching the dog.
5:15- Daddy's home!  My headache has also returned.  While Madison chills on the couch, I cook reheat dinner (lasagna), and set out some clothes for Patrick.

 5:30- I put Madison in her swing while Pat inhales his dinner.
5:40- Pat leaves to play a show at a local church, I eat my dinner.  I finish posting my pics to Facebook, then around 7:00 move a very sleepy Madi to her crib and decide to take the rest of the day (night) off.  I read a good portion of Riven by Jerry B. Jenkins, watch a strange mix of Survivor, Suburgatory, and The X Factor, then finally settle on America's Next Top Model All Stars.
8:45- Pat gets home.  I hit the sack about 9:15.

Do you ever wonder where your time goes?  Do you take more than 100 pictures in a day?  Have you ever found a dog hair in your mouth?  Because that totally just happened to me.

 Okay, I'm off to brush my teeth again.  Have a great day!
-Kelli

Stranger Danger

The following describes mine and Madison's typical encounter with a stranger in Walmart:

Stranger: "Awe, look at that all of that pretty red hair."
Me: "Thanks!", trying to squeeze our cart past theirs in the never quite wide enough aisle.
Stranger: "I bet you had a lot of heart burn, didn't you?"
Me: "Ha ha, not really.  I figured she was going to be bald" (said from rote; I've repeated this phrase probably 37 bajillion times)
Stranger: "Where do you think she got the red hair from?"
Me: "Umph" (that pesky cart still won't quite fit), "We haven't been able to figure it out!  I guess you never know, huh?"
Stranger: in baby voice "Where did you get that red hair, huh?"
Me: "Well, have a good day!"
Stranger: "You, too!  Anyway, what's her name?"



But that's okay; I've got a plan for our next stranger encounter.  It's gonna go something like this:


Stranger: "Awe, look at that pretty red hair."
Me: smiling apologetically, "No hablo ingles."

Have a good day!
-Kelli